Victoria Alexander

from speech to blog

January 11, 2010

First of all I have a couple of confessions to make. Number one–I am horribly behind on absolutely everything in my life.

Number 2—I had a great time getting to this point!

I went to San Francisco in 2008, along with 2000 of my closest friends, for the annual Romance Writer of America conference. Between the conference, hanging out with friends I only see once a year and San Francisco (great food, terrific shopping, wonderful sights) I had a fabulous time!

I was the keynote speaker for the conference which was actually fun once I got over my sheer terror. (Although if I had realized I was being shown on huge screens on either side of the stage, the terror would have lingered a lot longer.)

I firmly believe that since, for most of us, the opportunity to speak to 2000 or so people at one time in a huge, cavernous ballroom doesn’t come along very often we should take advantage of it. I used it to talk about all sorts of things including things I think need to change in the world, or things I’ve observed, or things that annoy me, or to offer advice.

For example:

I think the mark of a really good historical movie (like Gone With the Wind or Titanic) is one that makes you forget the facts of history and makes you think just maybe the South will win the Civil War after all. Or the boat won’t sink.

Personally, I think avoidance is always better than outright dishonesty.

Never buy your wedding flowers from a florist who operates out of the back of a bar. I think that’s self explanatory.

I think that there should be background music for real life. Music should swell at appropriate, triumphant moments. How else are you going to tell you’re in real danger—like a shark is about to eat you—without background music.

I like the idea of people having theme songs for their lives. I’ve narrowed mine down to about three. Still Crazy After All These Years seems to fit but I prefer Running Against the Wind (it’s a Paul Simon vs Bob Seeger thing). Mama Mia seems pretty appropriate though because I do tend to make the same mistakes over and over again.

I believe the philosophers of the modern age are songwriters and people who work in advertising. Is there anything more profound than that Sear’s slogan—LIVE LIKE IT’S SUMMER?

I think the differences between men and women are no more clearly defined than they are in four areas—and they all begin with S. Shopping, sports, sex and shoes. The men I know don’t see a need for more than four or five basic pairs. I bring more that that for a weekend.

Just because people look like they’re dead, they’re not necessarily dead. You should always check. Again—self explanatory.

I don’t think “things are closer than they appear” makes any sense at all. When backing up a car, wouldn’t it be much better if “things appear closer than they are”? Couldn’t we all use a little extra space?

Should the definition of a word require you to look up two more words? I don’t think so.

Love what you do. I think if you’re an accountant or a dairy farmer you should love being an accountant or dairy farmer.

Obviously, I have a lot of opinions and I really do tend to think my opinions are, well, the right ones. I’ve always known that about myself. What I didn’t realize, until I started working on this speech, was that my heroines share this trait with me.

Take Kathleen MacDavid, the heroine of Seduction of a Proper Gentleman. She doesn’t believe in silly things like curses or magic. Although the women of her family have long dabbled in magic—with no particular success—she considers herself a rational, practical sort. Someone in her family has to be. Even after her husband’s death when she learns of a family curse she doesn’t believe in such nonsense. But over the years when one suitor after another meets with an untimely end, well, even the most sensible woman can see she might be wrong. So what’s a girl to do but try to break the curse by marrying a man she’s never met? And what are those who believe in magic to do but try to help things along however they can?

That’s how it all begins. Seduction is the last of my Last Man Standing books. The tontine has been decided, the winnings distributed and everyone has lived happily ever after. And another confession—I am going to miss these guys. The hero of Seduction has appeared in six books and I hate to see his story end.

Hopefully, you’ll like it. Of course that’s just my opinion but then my opinion is almost always right!

perfection

January 11, 2010

The other day, my friend Amy and I were talking about a soap opera that I started watching as a kid because my mother watched it. She said she could remember her mother telling her how one of the older characters—now a family matriarch—used to bake wearing her pearls. Amy and I agreed that, at one time, that was the epitome of the perfect wife. It seems to me Donna Reed (The Donna Reed Show 1958-66), Jane Wyatt (Father Knows Best 1954-60) and Harriet Nelson (The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet 1952-1966) might not wear pearls every time they baked but they were always baking, always had on an apron, and always wore a dress.

I have pearls. I can’t remember the last time I wore them but I have them.

The definition of a perfect wife has certainly changed through the years. I know I’m breathing a sigh of relief at that. Until the last half of the twentieth century a woman’s place was in the home and the perfect wife knew that. She took care of all matters regarding her household so that when her husband came home to his castle it was in proper running order with everything well in hand and dinner on the table.

If dinner was on the table when my husband came home, the shock would probably kill him. I’d like to avoid that.

I asked him what he thought the perfect wife was. He looked at me and started laughing. I’m not sure what that means but in my quest for perfection I won’t question it. The Daily Mail Ideal Home Show (now celebrating 100 years—take a look at http://www.idealhomeshow.co.uk) conducted a survey for this year’s show that found while cooking was still a skill men appreciated, they think the perfect wife should also have a handle on the family’s finances, be willing to stand up to her spouse and enjoy a drink. Works for me.

Pearls, apparently, are optional.

So, what do you think makes a perfect wife?